hikikomori

Welp.
I'm behind on my blogging, I think. Bad self. I thought this would never happen!
But I am the queen of laziness compared to pretty much everyone I know, so...
Like, I'm totally capable of doing whatever I want if I put my mind to it.
But since I know that, I'm just like 'ehhh i'll do it later then'.

However, being both a procrastinator and a perfectionist kind of shoots me in the foot.

ANYWAY.
I have a headache. It's a dull sort of pain, not like someone is stabbing me in the temple with a pencil, more like some random combination of tired achey...ness?

It is tolerable now though, because I closed my window and turned my computer brightness all the way down. I think the light gives me headaches. Bright sunlight gives me headache, and being in the sun makes me tired and sleepy and prone to long nosebleeds. And I don't even know why!

I used to be an outdoorsy kid when I was younger. Loved rollerblading and riding my bike and playing football with my daddy.

But I am 18 now, my rollerblades have gathered dust in the garage (and are probably too small for me now anyway), my bike has been sold, I can't catch a normal-sized football, and my daddy lives in California. I hate going outside and being outside tires me much easier. I know, I know. I'm one of those kids of our generation that don't get enough exercise, I know. But thankfully my metabolism is nice enough to me that I don't ever have to diet or watch what I eat or anything.

I run on the treadmill sometimes. I would play our Wii Fit, but our Wii is broken. I could play Dance Dance Revolution (which is my choice of exercise, used to be able to play for hours), but my dance pad is broken too.

And so now I'm a weak, pale, 18 year old Asian girl who sits at home studying and techology-ing. (But I'm good at techologying! My typing speed is 79WPM at the moment. That's almost double the average. Haha!)

I guess my metabolism is against me in a way, though. It takes a lot for me to gain weight. Like a lot. @__@ And I lose weight very very easily boooo, so I can't exactly exercise too much because I'll lose weight. Then also less weight = less energy (I learned that in health!). I will give you an idea of how hard/easy it is:

1. I finally reached 100lbs in I believe 10th grade. I was 16. 16 years to gain 100lbs. That's about 6.25 pounds a year.
2. Come 6 months after my 16th birthday, we go on a trip to the Philippines.
3. I hate Filipino food. Refused to eat most of it.
4. Stay in the Philippines for 3 weeks. Didn't do anything but lounge around and be lazy and shop (as you are supposed to do on vacation!)
5. Come back and I have lost 7 pounds. More than a year's worth of weight, gone in 3 weeks. 8( DO NOT WANT.
6. I am 18 and have still not gained that weight back. Weighed myself at Costco (they have cool scales, yo), and am currently about 98.9lbs.

This is the story I tell every time someone tells me to exercise. :'D

*disclaimer: for anyone who might happen to think that this kind a metabolism is a good thing:
It's not. I'm like 25lbs under the healthy weight for my height. I have to take silly vitamins. I pass out easier than most if I don't have enough nutrients, especially sugar (thanks hypoglycemia, you're such a doll). I get dizzy if I put too much stress on myself, physically or mentally (that my just be my anxiety, though). Also it is SO HARD to find clothes that will properly fit. Especially pants! ; A ; They're either too short or too loose, boooo. This height/weight ratio I have here isn't so great. It kinda sucks! But I am thankful to God that I don't have to limit the amount of sugar I eat.

And my headache is much better, yeah!
See I feel better when it's dark. My sister keeps claiming I'm a vampire, or that I'm Edward Cullen. I'm not! I don't sparkle! I just have eyes that are hypersensitive to light and the sun makes me sooooooooo sleepy.

In conclusion, I am cat.

By the way: "hikikomori" = 'shut in' or 'stay-at-home' in Japanese.